The Fifteen Lessons of Internet Chat:

• Lesson One of Internet Chat: Do not expect your Chat Experience to be Meaningful.
• Lesson Two of Internet Chat: Do not be Offended.
• Lesson Three of Internet Chat: Do not Offend Others.
• Lesson Four of Internet Chat: ALWAYS TYPE IN CAPITALS so people can hear you.
• Lesson Five of Internet Chat: DO NOT talk Religion or Politics unless you are itching for a fight.
• Lesson Six of Internet Chat: Make fun of all of your typos, and only make fun of other's typos if you don't like them or are feeling antagonistic.
• Lesson Seven of Internet Chat: Capitalize Words randomly To add weird Emphasis.
• Lesson Eight of Internet Chat: Greet others ENTHUSIASTICALLY!!!!
• Lesson Nine of Internet Chat: Announce your depature, but don't straggle so long as to look like you are collecting goodbyes. I always do that.
• Lesson Ten of Internet Chat: Swear only for emphasis or if you are saying "Stop cussing, damn it!"
• Lesson Eleven of Internet Chat: Cyber sex is just wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Lesson Twelve of Internet Chat: There is no Lesson Twelve.
• Lesson Thirteen of Internet Chat: Sit down and shut up.
• Lesson Fourteen of Internet Chat: Use a maximum of three exclamation points!!!
• Lesson Fifteen of Internet Chat: Beware geeks bearing gifs.

Lessons Four and Nine are attributed to gut bomb. Lesson Ten is attributed to Dottie. Lesson Twelve is attributed to Moose. Lesson Eleven is by Athleen. I forgot who did lesson thirteen, so somebody mail me.

This list should probably not be taken entirely seriously. If you are looking for serious documentation on netiquette, go peer at RFC 1855.