=pod

=head1 NAME

nihil - whip ass

=head1 SYNOPSIS

B<nihil> I<[options]> I<user>

=head1 DESCRIPTION

B<nihil> is the Authoritative can of whoop-ass.  Use with caution.

=head1 OPTIONS

Most of the useful and nonfatal options are on by default,
so you can just type "nih<TAB> user".  To turn all the
defaults off, use B<--no-defaults>.  To negate any of these
options, use the long form and insert a C<no-> between the
C<--> and the rest of the option.

=over 4

=item B<-d>|B<--defaults>

Use defaults except for other stuff specified.  On by default, duh.

=item B<-n>|B<--nastygram>|B<--nastygram-file> I<file>

Send a nastygram to I<user>.  The exact content of the mail
varies slightly with the rest of the options supplied.  To
specify an exact nastygram to send, use the
B<--nastygram-file> form of the command and specify a
I<file> that contains the mail you want to send, minus
headers except if you want to specify them explicitly.  On
by default.

=item B<-c>|B<--remove-cron-jobs>|B<--remove-at-jobs>

Remove I<user>'s cron jobs.  If B<at(1)> is installed,
remove any B<at> jobs, too.  On by default.

=item B<-C>|B<--crack>

Crack the I<user>'s home box.  On by default.

=item B<--cron-call-home>|B<--cron-call-home-time> I<seconds>

Set up a cron job to call I<user>'s home phone number every
I<seconds> seconds.  Default for B<--cron-call-home> is 1200
seconds (20 minutes).  Defaults to off, because of telephone
bills.  Useful with B<-c>.

=item B<-t>|B<--trace>|B<--trace-hintfile> I<file>

Trace I<user> back to their real-world identity.  This is a
very important option.  Many of the others use it.  If you
use the file version of this option, I<file> can be any file
that contains information about I<user>--B<nihil> will use
an advanced searching algorithm to try to find an offline
identity that matches all information given or is somewhat
close.  If it finds more than one identity that matches, by
default it will query you about which one.  If in Yes-mode
(B<-y>), it will kick the ass of each identity.  B<Do NOT
use Yes-mode if I<user> has the same name as YOUR sysadmin!>
B<Nihil> usually guesses right, but IT DOES MAKE MISTAKES
and you WILL BE anB<nihil>ated if your sysadmin gets
annoyed.  On by default.

=item B<-y>|B<--yes>|B<--yes-yes-defaults>

DANGEROUS.  In cases where B<nihil> would usually ask you
for information, do NOT query you.  USE WITH EXTREME
CAUTION.  Implies B<--no-defaults> for your safety, except
for the B<--yes-yes-defaults> form which does not.

=item B<-i>|B<--irs>

Give an anonymous tip to the IRS that I<user> is fudging
their income tax returns.

=item B<-p>|B<--ping-flood>|B<--ping-flood-host> I<host>

Implies B<-C>.  Once I<user>'s home box is cracked, ping
flood a host from there.  In the first two forms of the
option, ping floods B<www.2600.com> and
B<packetstorm.securify.com>.  In the third form, ping floods
I<host>.  To specify more than one, separate with commas.
Off by default by request of Packetstorm.

=item B<-A>|B<--delete-accounts>

Implies B<-C>.  Go through I<user>'s list of bookmarks and
visited sites.  Delete their user accounts on each one.
Delete all cookies.

=item B<-u> I<options>|B<--usenet> I<options>

Implies B<-C>.  From their box, do annoying things with
USENET.  Multiple options are comma-separated.  On by
default.  Again, options can have C<no-> prepended to negate
the sense of the statement where it makes sense, e.g.
no-fuck-kevin but not no-12-seconds.

=over 4

=item full-crosspost

Do a full crosspost over ALL of USENET.  Default is to only
post to various alt.sysadmins newsgroups.

=item free-kevin

Adds pro-Kevin Mitnik propaganda to the article posted.

=item fuck-kevin

Adds anti-Kevin Mitnik propaganda to the article posted.  On
by default.

=item credit-card

Post I<user>'s credit card numbers.

=item all-emails

Search I<user>'s home box for email addresses.  Post all of
them for the spam-bots to slurp.  This will probably find
I<user>'s address book.  On by default.

=item home-address

Add I<user>'s home address to the USENET posting.

=item breakin

Add links to online C<anarchy> sites that tell how to break
into a house and such.

=item all-caps

POST IN ALL CAPS.  ON BY DEFAULT.

=item run-on-sentences

post in run on sentences take away punctuation and
differences in capitalization on by default.

=item 1337

D0 numb3r and sy|\/|b<>l substitutions at random.  On by
default.

=item alternate-caps

Alternate caps and non-caps.  On by default.  When this and
all-caps are both on, DIstRiBUTE cAPitAl lEttERs rAndOMly.

=item insult-I<word>

Add insults about I<word> to the post.  If I<word> is one of
several builtin words (or is a key in a DBM file named in
the INSULT_DB environment variable), it will garner a
specialized insult (builtin, or the value of that entry in
the DBM).  Otherwise, a general insult will be used, e.g.
mumblefuck SCREWS THE BIG HAIRY BILLY GOAT!

=item porn-advert

Advertise abundant kiddie porn on I<user>'s computer.
Useful with B<-s>, to open up a share, and B<-P>, to
download kiddie porn.

=item I<number>-seconds

I<number> is the frequency in seconds for crossposting.
Default is 60.

=item nazi

Refer to various USENET users as Hitler-like and Nazi.
Downloads a random sampling of articles and uses a heuristic
to find users that are savvy enough to whip ass, but not
experienced enough not to be offended.

=item spam-root

Spam root@ every news server found.  Also spams abuse@,
postmaster@, and news@.

=back

=item B<-i>|B<--irc>

Implies B<-C>.  Run an IRC spambot/annoybot on lots and lots
of IRC networks from I<user>'s home box.  Designed to get
them K-lined.  Off by default because the author likes IRC.

=item B<-r>|B<--rootkit>|B<--back-orifice>

Implies B<-C>.  B<nihil> knows whether I<user>'s box is a
Windows or *NIX box.  This option installs a rootkit for the
appropriate OS on I<user>'s home box.

=item B<-s>|B<--share>

Implies B<-C>.  On I<user>'s home computer, open up a
passwordless read-write SMB share for the whole disk if on
Windows, or anonymous read-write FTP access to the whole
computer if on *NIX.

=item B<-P>|B<--porn>

Implies B<-C>.  Useful with B<-s>.  From I<user>'s home box,
search the 'net for kiddie porn.  Download lots.

=item B<-f>|B<--fbi>|B<--fbi-file> I<file>

Only a good idea with B<-C>, so implies it.  Send anonymous
tip to the FBI that I<user> is a terrorist or child
pornographer.  If B<-P>, uses child pornographer.
Otherwise, terrorist.  If given a I<file>, sends it to the
FBI.

=item B<-w>|B<--wipe>|B<--wipe-time> I<seconds>

Implies B<-C>.  Wipe I<user>'s home computer's hard disk.
Off by default.  Default with no specification is to wait 1
day (86400 seconds) after all other processes are finished.
If a time is specified, wait that many seconds after all
processes are finished.  If I<seconds> is negative, change
it to positive and wait that many seconds after I<user>'s
computer is cracked, regardless of the status of the other
processes.

=item B<-S>|B<--spam>|B<--spam-file> I<file>

Collect email addresses to spam.  Collects addresses from
I<user>'s computer like B<--usenet all-emails>, downloads a
bunch of USENET articles and grabs addresses, and searches
random web pages.  Spams them all.  B<--spam-file> stops all
that from happening, and spams the addresses in I<file>.  If
B<--spam> is specified again after B<--spam-file>, does all
the address gathering, too.

=item B<-V>|B<--version>

Print the version of B<nihil>.

=item B<-h>|B<--help>

Print a brief usage message.

=item B<-v>|B<--verbose>

Be more verbose.  This is fun, it gives you a play-by-play
of the action.  Use it more for more verbosity.  Default is
to tell each item as it happens but not to go into any
detail.

=item B<-F>|B<--fork>

Fork off so that the sysadmin can continue layin' down the
pimp napkin.  If there is no B<--log-file>, you will miss
the glorious output, so specify a logfile.

=item B<-q>|B<--quiet>

Be less verbose.  One B<-q> is the opposite of one B<-v>,
they cancel each other out.

=item B<-l> I<file>|B<--log-file> I<file>

Log to I<file>.  Logs at one level of verbosity higher than
that which is printed out.

=item B<-W>|B<--webcast>

Implies B<-C>.  Try to find a webcam or microphone on
I<user>'s home box to document the agony.  Saves the stream
on the localhost, streams on port 8000, and posts a copy to
Freenet.  On by default.

=item B<-D> I<hostspec>|B<--crack-hosts> I<hostspec>

Implies B<-C>.  From I<user>'s home machine, try to crack hosts
given by I<hostspec>.  I<hostspec> is a comma-delimited list
of hosts.  Special values are fbi, cia, nsa, whitehouse,
house, senate, nasa, and dod.  They try to crack the obvious
U.S. Governmental entities.  Otherwise, I<hostspec> should
be a host name or IP address to crack.

=item B<-L> [I<file>]|B<--lisp> [I<file>]

Enable lisp interpreter.  If no file is given, reads
C<~/.nihil>.  On by default.

=item B<-H>|B<--hamster> [I<number>]

Open I<number> browser windows on I<user>'s home box, all
pointed at Hamsterdance.  On by default, default I<number>
is 30.

=item B<-e>|B<--extort>|B<--extort->I<option>

Extort things from I<user>.  Delay anB<nihil>ation of
I<user> for 4 hours (time defineable at compile-time or with
lisp).  If I<user> provides something within the time, do
not ruin I<user>'s life.  I<option> is C<nude> by default.

=over 4

=item nude

Default.  Ask for a set of nude pictures.

=item blues

Ask for four fried chickens and dry white toast.

=item crack

Ask for crack.

=item goat

Guess.

=item irish

Ask to masturbate furiously while chanting an Irish hymn.

=item file

With this option, B<nihil> expects a filename to follow this
argument.  The extortion message is taken from that file.

=back

=item B<-E>|B<--police>

Send out a request for assistance on the police (law
Enforcement) radio band.

=item B<-a>|B<--amateur-radio>|B<--ham>

Implies B<-C>.  If I<user> has a HAM radio hooked up to
their computer, spam the airwaves with it.

=item B<-b>|B<--cockroaches>

(b is before c for cockroaches) Infest I<user>'s home with
cockroaches.  Also lawyers.  Implies B<-t>.

=item B<-R>|B<--rimmer>

Implies B<-C>.  Replace I<user>'s kernel image file with an
ASCII file containing only the sentence C<I am a fish.> 400
times.

=back

=head1 BUGS

B<--cockroaches>.

=head1 AUTHOR

resc.  C<tgs@resc.net>.  dwyn.  astatine.  ithron.  CaptainSpam.  chinoodle.
knarphie.  Dis.  getzburg.

=head1 SEE ALSO

The look on I<user>'s face.

=cut